On Traversing A Pandemic
Sreeparvathy S
All of us, irrespective of our differences, are victims of this cloistered state, for the world has come to a standstill due to COVID-19, the ever virulent pandemic that is growing in front of our eyes. Some of us are comfortable working from home, caught up by orderly routines and scheduled timings. Some others are anxious of the uncertainty that it brings in. Yet others, those who bear domestic violence as well as the depressed ones who scream in silence, feel trapped and helpless in places away from their homes. Finally, there are those who are on the streets without a home.
What runs through our minds? Do we have thoughts on thoughts or is it a void that we experience? Let me try and jot down random thoughts that might pop up in some of our minds during the lockdown.
Quite often, most of us feel like miniatures of Robinson Crusoe, lost in an island devoid of human contact. We long to meet our friends and acquaintances, and end up finding solace in video calls and ‘Zoom Parties’. Some of us take up a new hobby, brush up an old talent or develop a new skill, sharing patience and positivity in hope. We yearn for a fresh breeze and the sun’s kisses. The other day, a friend of mine said that she missed dressing up and stepping out. We miss the beaches, restaurants, long rides, cinema theatres, shopping malls and feel weird about it for we have never felt this intense yearning before. It’s difficult to stay calm, as we don’t seem to see any light at the end of the tunnel as yet and feel that this is going to stay, ceaselessly.
We look out to see clear skies and unpolluted surroundings, but our inner skies are often clouded with a sense of bewilderment. Life seems to be in dire straits, failing to make any sense. Our sleep cycles have gone upside down – some of us give in to oversleeping, while some insomniac selves are wide awake on most nights. The newly flooded viewership in porn sites reflects suppressed sex drives. ‘Netflix and Chill’ is hard, as you start feeling hollow with the temporary gratification it offers.
Social media too can turn out to be a demon, as all one sees is fake optimism and of people taking part in a number of activities that seem temporary – from Dalgona Coffees to Instagram Bingos. One feels an aura of stillness around, carving out a state of stagnancy, and flushed out from the buoyant, dynamic state one was in, just a few months ago.
How will this phase be remembered?
It definitely is a gloomy picture in terms of mental health. However, experts have written a lot about what can be done about it. Rather than digging up psychological measures that need medical supervision and expertise, it would be interesting to analyse the situation back from the future. In other words, how will the phase of the pandemic be remembered?
We are now starting to wonder what it meant to have conversations with others, experience human touch, and explore spaces of human interaction. In other words, we are realising some of the fundamental, defining principles of being ‘human’. We are up to date with recent developments from around the world, including the changes in the economic and political fronts of various countries. However, we have also started to look into ourselves, our bodies, and minds. Similar to the many changes that we witness around us, we feel that our skins and bodies are exposed to changes, and most importantly, changes that reflect on our minds. When viewed as an outsider, one sees oneself desperately trying to cope up with what we have lost because of the pandemic, seeking normalcy amid all the instability, yet habituating to the period of crisis. Though most of us are not directly affected by the pandemic, with every case tested positive for the virus, an excruciating fear begins to haunt us.
This will be remembered as a phase of fear, where all of us were extremely anxious about the health of ourselves and our loved ones. Hand sanitisers and face masks have become the symbols of this period. This phase will evoke conversations between spouses, parents, and roommates, for which we did not find time earlier, when we were all part of a race to be the most productive. This even has the potential to become a reason to develop deeper relationships, a sense of purpose, and a greater appreciation of life among human beings. In our solitude, we start comprehending the changes we feel, which will only add greater meaning to our survival story. Some of us will even produce great works of art, which might turn out to be cherished as ‘quarantine memoirs’.
Undoubtedly, we all are undergoing a time that can be emotionally, mentally taxing, but soon it will turn out to be a phase already passed, where we will remember the pandemic as a milestone in the long, winding history of human survival.
Sreeparvathy S is a fourth year student of Development Studies, at the Indian Insitute of Technology, Madras.
The views expressed here are the author’s. They do not necessarily represent the views of the journal’s.
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